3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Breakup

Welcome to the last part of my relationship series! As a recap, I have discussed the dating stages, red flags and ghosting, the relationship; building a heathier foundation, and finally…the breakup; otherwise, the stage of singleness once again. I wanted to touch up on this topic because it tends to be an area many of us do not take lightly, especially after a relationship. We become so costumed to the feelings of a relationship and having someone we love to share our lives with, as soon as the relationship doesn’t work out, we become so sour about the idea of going back to “square one.” The feelings prevent us from living our lives for a little while, and I am here to tell you, that it is perfectly fine to take the time you need to bounce back. Our hearts are so fragile, we need to give it the time to feel whole once again. And that is what I am going to discuss, the importance of: Time, Learning, & Moving On.

1.) Time: As I have mentioned above, time is very important once you are beginning the stage of singleness once again. When you are spending your time with someone who you adore and love for so long, it is hard to accept that it is officially over. God wants you to have the best, and if this relationship was not best for you in the long run, accept what God is doing and trust in His plans for your life. Take this time for yourself and rest. Rest your broken heart, and give yourself the time to heal. You may have friends or family members who feel as if you should not take a long time to cope, but do what you feel is best for you. We all have different ways of coping, and there is no certain “time frame” on a broken heart. As you are going through your time, do things you enjoy. Read a book, cuddle up on the couch, watch your favorite season of a show, whatever it is, give yourself that time to do things that will start to make you feel better.

What I would love to get across here is one of my weakest points, and I feel many of you can relate. Once the relationship is over, DO NOT constantly look on social media for any glimpse of what is going on in their lives. Truth is, they may be doing the same thing too, and if they aren’t and this whole situation does not seem to bother them, then they were not the one for you anyway. Social media has given us too much of a personal view into other’s lives, and after a break up we are so desperately wanting to see what they are doing with their life or if there is already someone new. Why put yourself through that pain? You know it is going to hurt you, so why do it? That is like saying, I know falling down the stairs will hurt me, but I’ll do it anyways because I’m curious. Curiosity kills the cat remember that. Do not hurt your heart more than what is has already gone through.

2.) Learning: Always, always, always take a breakup as a learning experience and not seeing it as a waste of time. During the time of your relationship, you were learning how to sustain one, how you act towards certain situations, how to feel, etc. This does not mean to start blaming yourself on the situation, rather, to sit and think if there was any area in which you know you can work on. Consider the seasons of dating the wrong people to be practice for the person God is going to bless you with. You will be set! None of us are perfect, but we can always learn from our past mistakes and learn by other’s behaviors of what we do not deserve. Finally, what is most important for your own sanity and we sometimes really hate to think about doing this but…forgive them. Just because you are choosing to forgive them does not mean you are choosing to forget what they may have done to your heart. By forgiving them, you are opening up room for your heart and mind to move on. Holding grudges only builds up unnecessary clutter in our minds.

3.) Move On: Awesome! So, you have taken the time you need to bounce back to being yourself, and have learned from the relationship, now is the time to move on! This is such a freeing feeling if you ask me. Embrace the single life because, this is the time specifically meant for YOU. As I mention many times, only because I personally believe it is important, singleness is not an evil state, and we should not feel ashamed of it! God wants you to have the best, and you deserve the best, so once again, trust in His timing and in no time, He will send you your person. The person you have been praying for for years! Learning from your past experiences, you are now more capable to say goodbye to the people who come into your life to date and it just does not feel right. You have gained a voice to finally say no to what you are not liking. Hold yourself out for the right person, because they are worth the wait. God wants you to walk beside Him, not race in front of Him.

Move on past that old relationship, and go find yourself! Go out to the world and live a life others would be jealous of. This is your life, live it up!